stickupherforehead

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[Pearl's quiet. There hasn't been any squawking or reprimands or singing or humming for a few weeks now. Of course, it could easily be blamed on the arrival of the new baby and magnitude of the work involved. She couldn't bring herself to prepare beforehand (how do you prepare for the death of somebody like that?), and now she has had little to no time to learn an entirely new set of skills, ranging from actually taking care of the baby to working with Greg and trying to figure out how much responsibility to give him to make him feel like he's involved (but without freaking Pearl out).

She can't help that breaking feeling whenever she sees the baby's gem or those growing curls or that smile or those eyes. She knows well enough that the child doesn't deserve it, so. She stays quiet.]

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Oh... okay. [ She follows after her in small yet hurried steps, hands held up in tight, antsy fists in front of her chest. ] Can I help?

No, it's alright Amethyst. [polite, monotone.

Baby is stirring though, and might be starting to squirm in his cradle.] Unless you'd like to keep him busy while I pack up his things.

You got it! [ Amethyst might not know a lot about human baby stuff -- she figures Pearl's read enough books for the three of them -- but if there's one thing she's good at, it's keeping it busy. She trots over to the crib, peering down at the baby with a grin. Then she covers her face with her hands. ]

Heyyy, Steven! Guess who's there? [ Steven coos curiously, and Amethyst removes her hands to reveal an octopus head, complete with eight writhing tentacles. ] It's a giant man-eating octopus! Raaaahr! [ That might or might not be the noise an actual octopus makes, but either way, the baby's laughing. Amethyst reshapes her head back to normal, laughing too. She doesn't really get it, but at times like this, she almost kind of likes the baby. Its laugh sounds better than its crying, at least, and its eyes seem a little brighter when they look up at her.

She likes feeling like she's doing something right. ]

Ooh, now check this out! [ Amethyst covers her face again, this time transforming it into that of an owl, and her arms into wings to flap about. ] Hoot, hoot!

[just listening to that makes her crack a smile. Meanwhile, she's putting together the carriage, the stroller, and an absolutely gigantic, pastel colored baby bag. Pearl fills it with all and any necessities a baby (or quite possibly ten babies, each suffering from a different human ailment) could ever need for a two day jaunt to....Greg's van. Sigh.

When she's done going over her mental checklist, she quietly pads on over to Amethyst and the baby.]

...I'm glad you two get along. [she's wearing a small smile, but it's a smile nonetheless.]

[ Amethyst changes her head back from gorilla to normal at the comment, so she can meet Pearl's smile with a lopsided one of her own. She scratches at the back of her neck, simultaneously swelling with pride and shrinking with self-consciousness. ] Uh, haha, yeah! S'no big.

[ She shifts her weight from foot to foot. ] You all good to go, then?

We're just waiting on Greg now. [her smile seems a bit more fixed as she looks into the crib and picks up the baby. It's automatic now. Hand cradling the head, quick diaper check, the way those little hands keep reaching for her nose, and how she makes sure to keep smiling.]

Up we go. [let's see if he'll go quietly into his carrier]

[ Steven seems to be in thankfully good spirits, and goes along with it without a fuss. Greg shows up before long, and after an awkward exchanging of pleasantries and babies he drives off, leaving the two of them alone on the sand.

Amethyst kind of hates the way Pearl smiles, these days. It looks more like a mechanical tic than anything. Like she's not even looking at Pearl's real face.

It kind of feels like she hasn't seen the real Pearl in a while. ]

... Hey, P. [ She shuffles closer, peeking up at her through a veil of pale hair. ] D'you wanna... hang out, or something?

[Pearl glances at Amethyst and then turns back to the window, following the disappearing taillights of Greg's van.]

I was going to head to my room. [presumably to meditate, but really. It's all she could do to not think.]

[ Amethyst's not stupid. She can tell it's a rejection. But she still tries: ] Can I come with?

[there's a familiar tickle of irritation. Her room is her sanctuary, even if...it doesn't feel like it now.

Her shoulders slump a little.] Do whatever you want.

[and she's brushing past you without another word.]

Wh... hey! [ Any sense of victory she may have felt at getting her way is instantly nullified by Pearl's face and tone of voice. Instead Amethyst grits her teeth and clenches her fists, before rushing after Pearl on her much shorter legs. ]

I just want to talk to you! Why are you being so-- ugh!

[her gem glows and the door opens to her room, though she doesn't walk in yet.]

About what, Amethyst?

I... I don't know. Stuff. Anything.

[ "I miss you", she thinks to say, and goes as far as parting her lips. But she sees the complete detachment in the stern line of Pearl's back, those pale eyes not even meeting her own... and Amethyst's mouth snaps back shut. ]

You're always holed up in your room. Don't you get bored? There's only so much meditating you can do, y'know. [ She tries to lighten her tone, cracking a hopeful smile. ] Your butt'll get numb.

[she sighs, sounding almost irritated. But at least it isn't a fake smile.] With the proper meditative techniques, one's butt, as you say, won't become numb.

[and she walks right in, sinking beneath the water and then reappearing at the top of the one of the pillars. The door doesn't close right away, so that's something.]

[ Amethyst's smile contorts into a frustrated scowl. Damn it, she screwed up, she said the wrong thing again--

But then, the way Pearl is now, it doesn't really seem like there's a right thing to say, or to do. The Pearl of before would've rolled her eyes and scolded her, but smile a little as she did it. But this Pearl just...

Ugh, the pillar thing. She has no idea how she does that, so she has no choice to hop her way up. It's a bit of a hassle, and it takes longer, but she catches up a few moments later.

Still, Amethyst can't help but wonder whether Pearl just did that in the hopes of shaking her off.

She probably did, huh. ]

[ Faced with Pearl's back once more, Amethyst mutters so quietly you could almost think it's to herself: ] ... Why do you hate me now?

[that gets her to turn around immediately, eyes finally meeting yours.]

What? No, I don't! Why would I - [the panic in her voice in reflected in her eyes. Was she so wrapped up in herself that she forgot about their (formerly) youngest gem?

And she's moving into a crouch, kneeling down. Eye level with you.] I don't, Amethyst.

[ Amethyst's shoulders hunch up, the close eye contact somehow more daunting than comforting. It puts her whole body on edge, and in her anxiety she can't keep all the things she knows she shouldn't say from slipping out. ]

Then why're you like this? [ Her voice is scratchy, climbing up with every word. ] I can never get anything right, everything I say just pisses you off, you never even want to see me anymore! Is it that much of a bother just to have me around? [ And then, the one biggest thing she really shouldn't say tumbles out-- ] Did you only ever put up with me because Rose wanted me here?

[the silence that follows is sudden. And then Pearl is getting loud too.] It's not about you, alright?? It was never about you!

[and hoo boy, she's flushing now. That was the exact opposite of what she meant to say.] I meant... [her shoulders are slumping and she's getting quiet again] ...that it's my fault.

... No, I know what you meant.

[ She turns away sharply, hissing out through gritted teeth: ] It's aaaall about you, isn't it? [ Her voice takes on a mocking sing-song. ] Special perfect Pearl. Rose liked you best, so you're the one who's hurting most without her. The rest of us don't matter.

[ Then she whips back around, the mane of her hair flaring out behind her as she screams-- ] Is that how it works, Pearl?!

Amethyst!! [and she's on her feet, breathing hard.]

I'm not... I'm not strong enough, alright?! I can't hold it together and I can't...! [she backs away another step, like she's looking for an escape route.]

[ Amethyst can feel a burning at the back of her eyes, but she matches Pearl's recoiling form with a step forward, body curved back to look up into her face. ] None of us are, that's why we have to stick together! But all you're doing is shut me out! How do you think we're gonna get through this?!

[she can't. She's turning away, blinking furiously, back ramrod straight and fists at her side.]

I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm - [lost. There's an ragged intake of breath instead.]

[ Amethyst's mouth opens and her hand instinctively reaches for Pearl, only to realize she has nothing to say, and that Pearl is sure reject any comfort she offers. Just like that, her teeth click together as she closes her mouth, and the extended arm drops limply to her side before ever making contact.

As angry as Pearl makes her, Amethyst wants to help. She wants to support her through this, to see her smile with her eyes again, even if just once. But she doesn't know what to do. There may well be nothing she can do. Turning her head into funny animals isn't going be any help, here. She's useless.

There's only one person Pearl wants to see right now, only one person who could make her happy again. And that's Rose.

Rose.

The realization settles like a pebble dropped into the ocean -- sending little ripples through the surface as its hits before sinking, slow and steady, downwards. It's incredibly simple, isn't it? If the person Pearl wants to see is Rose, then all she has to do...

Amethyst closes her eyes, feeling her limbs stretch and her hair curl and grow. Then she takes a silent yet markedly heavier step forward, and touches a much larger hand to the back of one bony shoulder. ]

[her eyes widen at the touch. That's familiar. Too familiar. When was the last time this had happened? Just a few short weeks ago? That's a drop in the bucket, compared to the millennia she has lived through. Haah. It's almost...kind of funny, how her heart (gem??) lurched at that touch. And how her emotions were completely ready to believe, despite what her head already knows.

Pearl is almost hyperventilating. Her shoulders are shaking from the strain of holding still.]

Amethyst. [she doesn't think she can take it if she turns around.]

[ Amethyst swallows hard. Pearl's shaking so much... was this a terrible idea? Should she stop?

Or is it that she still hasn't done enough?

She thinks she should say-- something, offer some reassurance or ask if this is okay, but Amethyst's voice is her own, and that's not what Pearl wants. So she seals her lips shut, and with another step forward, takes her slender frame into her arms. ]

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