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[Pearl's quiet. There hasn't been any squawking or reprimands or singing or humming for a few weeks now. Of course, it could easily be blamed on the arrival of the new baby and magnitude of the work involved. She couldn't bring herself to prepare beforehand (how do you prepare for the death of somebody like that?), and now she has had little to no time to learn an entirely new set of skills, ranging from actually taking care of the baby to working with Greg and trying to figure out how much responsibility to give him to make him feel like he's involved (but without freaking Pearl out).

She can't help that breaking feeling whenever she sees the baby's gem or those growing curls or that smile or those eyes. She knows well enough that the child doesn't deserve it, so. She stays quiet.]

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[ She scrunches her (Rose's) eyes shut, and her (Rose's) always-soft hands clench into fists around Pearl's dainty forearms. Her (Rose's) round, sloping shoulders quake, and her (Amethyst's) voice is raspy and taut and ugly, cracking at the edges-- ] Please what? Just tell me and I'll do it!

[she flinches at the tightening grip, but then turns her head to you. Over to the right and up. It should have been easy, but the second it took might have well been an eternity.]

I just want you to be you. [if anything, she's shaking even more]

[ Her face contorts in a way Rose's face never should, and she weakly protests-- ] But, but...

[ But you love her more. Not that it matters, does it? Amethyst can't really be Rose. She can't make this better. That was the only thing she could think to do, and it was a mistake, too. Like everything she does. Like her.

Amethyst's arms fall limp from around Pearl, and the shimmering surface of the pillar draws nearer as she shrinks back into her own form. Her hair falls in a mess over the side of her face again, but even with her head tilted down, it can't quite obscure the wet trails streaking her cheeks. Her nose is running already, and Amethyst sniffs hard, promptly clogging her throat with mucus.

God, she's so pathetic. ]

Ungh...

[Pearl falls to her knees and then immediately reaches out, hand on your wrist. Even if you're technically not a child anymore, she's going to try and pull you into her lap for a hug. Tears and mucus and all. Hers and yours.]

[ Amethyst is swept up into Pearl's lap like she's weightless, and then her arms are around her again, clinging as if her life depended on it. Within moments the front of Pearl's shirt is stained with tears and snot, but Amethyst won't let go until she's absolutely made to. ]

I can't. [ She mumbles into the fabric, small at first, but with increasing franticness. ] I can't lose both you and Rose, I can't do it. I can't be all alone, okay?!

[arms wrapping around you tight, body curling around yours, face buried in your hair. Pearl isn't letting go either.]

I'm here, Amethyst. I'm going to be here forever, with you and Garnet and - [a shaky breath] and Steven.

[a smaller voice] I'm sorry I left you alone. I hope you can forgive me.

[all wrapped up in her own grief and barely functonal. What a joke she is.]

[ Forever. That's a good promise. Amethyst would like to hold onto that. She presses herself closer still, as close as she can. ]

Okay.

[ A hiccup, followed by a sniff. ] ... 'msorry.

Me too. [the hand on your back has started rubbing soothingly] I'm sorry as well.

[for forcing your hand. It's stupid, how she'd just assumed everything will be fine (or at least survive) as long as she did her duty towards the baby.]

We'll be fine. It'll be alright. [whether she's saying that for your benefit or hers is up in the air.

Also she's really glad Rose didn't make any sort of promises of that magnitude.]

Yeah. [ Amethyst lets out a heavy, shuddering breath, nodding helplessly against Pearl's shirt. She'll surely be ashamed of this moment of weakness later, when her mind's clearer, but for now all she cares about is that Pearl's here, and Pearl's holding her.

Maybe, somehow, it will be all right. Like this, she can almost bring herself to believe it. ]

Yeah.

[she's going to have to make sure she keeps Amethyst involved in childcare, huh? Maybe not the bits that involve patience (it would just end in tears for everybody involved), but she's really good at playing with him. All the books Pearl has ever read said babies need to be stimulated, so. There's that.

They'll get through this. They have to. And, she's not alone. She was never alone, even if she lost sight of that.

Pearl kisses the top of Amethyst's head, and then starts humming quietly. It's an old gem lullaby, probably sung by both Rose and Pearl at some point.]

[ Amethyst's breath catches at the sound of Pearl's voice, and she presses her lips together, trying to silence herself as much as she can. With her eyes closed, she sinks into the familiar tune and Pearl's comforting hold.

Even just as a faint hum, Pearl's voice is melodious and soothing, engulfing her in its gentle warmth. By the time it's over, her tears have slowed to a halt, and the tremors have subsided from her shoulders.

Sloppily wiping her face with one hand, Amethyst leans back a bit, so she can look up into Pearl's face. ]

... I really like your singing, you know. [ She attempts a smile, crooked. ] 'sbeen a while.

[that's a small smile in return, though her eyes are still a bit watery.] Thank you. [~~take that, Greg!!!~~

Her eyes take on a more distant look.] It has, hasn't it?

[probably in the months or weeks leading up the actual birth]

Yeah...

[ She lets one arm drop from around Pearl, reaching for her hand instead -- as if hoping to pull her back from wherever she goes when her eyes go all hazy like that. ]

You ever sing to Steven?

[her hand is limp at first, but then she's slowly twining her fingers around Amethyst's.] Not yet, no.

[she can't quite bring herself to.]

Maybe you could try sometimes. [ She gives her a little sqeeze. ]

I'd like it. If, like, I was Steven. You know.

[heh. You like it too, huh? It's almost silly, how the corner of her lips twitches upward at that.]

Alright, I'll try.

You're pretty good yourself. [or is it uncool if you do it?]

Me? [ She lets out a hitched laugh, gaze dropping to her lap. ] At what?

[and her free arm pulls you close again for another hug.] Reminding me of what's important.

[she was going to tease about singing, but this is more important. No mistakes here.]

[ Amethyst's eyes widen, and her cheeks flush. She doesn't think her singing's all that, but she was expecting this even less. ] Oh.

I don't really... [ deserve this. She yelled at Pearl, and she said those bad things, she turned into Rose when she shouldn't have and she made her cry...

But it doesn't feel right just deflecting it, either, when Pearl sounds so genuine. Maybe instead of turning this into some stupid argument she should just shut up and accept it. Enjoy this much-sought moment of intimacy and peace while it lasts. ] I... thanks.

[ Amethyst shuffles a little in place, and then tilts her head up to kiss Pearl's cheek. She hopes for it makes for a better thank you than her awkward mumbling just now. That, and she owes her one for earlier. ]

[she could spend a long time dissecting all their actions that led up to this point, but that's not what she wants right now. And it hurt, both the words and seeing Rose, such as it was. And it's not like it's unaccompanied by a load of guilt.

They're both a bit broken, huh?]

Amethyst. [that's a bit of a flush at the kiss, and then it's a small smile.] My butt's getting numb.

[step by step. They'll be fine.]

[ Amethyst blinks, then breaks into a laugh. It's the lightest her voice has sounded in weeks. ] Hey, you didn't even do the air quotes!

[ She's smiling as she hops off of Pearl's lap, extending a hand to help her up. There's some humor to be found in the gesture, perhaps, given that on her feet she's about Pearl's height when she's sitting. ]

[Pearl laughs along. It's quiet, but she feels better for it.

And she's reaching out with a hand, letting you tug her up.] I think we can afford to get away from the temple for a bit.

[get out of her room and go somewhere, anywhere. Get some fresh air. Maybe punch a monster.]

Yeah, I feel that! [ Having Pearl agree feels like something of a victory. ] Where you wanna go?

Somewhere nice. With sunshine, perhaps. [at least that rules out most of the caves.

Pearl hops on down and opens her door with a glow of her gem.]

Ooh! Yeah, what's the last time you saw some of that, huh?

[ She quickly follows, making a considerably larger splash on the way down. ]

You wanna hang out in town? Or warp somewhere? Maybe there'll be something to punch!

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i'm sorry LIFE PUNCHED ME